A WEST INDIA PARSON

From Coleridge's Six Months in the West Indies.

The church in Roseau is well situated, and tolerably finished without, but the interior is in a miserable state. The common pitch pine, when unpainted, has a particularly unpleasant effect in a hot climate: it always oppressed me in a remarkable manner. About a hundred persons, chiefly colored, attended the morning service: they had few books, and apparently came for the purpose of seeing the bishop—certainly, with one or two exceptions, they were entirely unacquainted with the ordinary ritual of the established religion. The church of England, indeed, does not flourish in Dominica, which, considering the great capacity and spirituous affections of the presently worth incumbent, Mr. Newman, is somewhat strange. There are about 2,000 Protestants in this colony, of which number, the Methodists form the larger part; about 16,000 are Papists, under the care of three Spanish priests; so that it is consolatory to the sympathies of obese and liquescent men to know that, if they languish from the in-devotion of the least, its minister does, upon an ample salary, and just so much breathing exercise o' Sundays as may conduce to a good digestion on the rest of the week. Not that I would be thought to impeach the zeal of the rector of Roseau: very far from it; it is too well known to be questioned; and it argues an unusual degree of apathy or stubbornness in those who are the daily witnesses of it that its effects are not more perceptible.

Mr. Newman is great and remarkable, but he is not so great and remarkable as his predecessor, Mr. Audain. This Mr. Audain was a patriot; a few of his cloth like him—he was not content with praying against the enemies of his country; he fought against them also. He fitted out and owned a boat, and the authorized translation—Mr. Audain loved literal orthodoxy—intimates a connection between some of his apostles and his ship. Mr. Audain built a schooner, and carried on, for many years, a system of practical polemics with the Spaniards of the French side, to his own abundant profit and notoriety. It is even yet fresh in the recollections of the inhabitants of Roseau, with how joyful a melody the holy Dominican once broke off the service on a Sunday, unable to repress the emotions of his heart, as he saw his privateer, with a prize, enter the bay with a dismantled barque, laden with sugar, rum, and other Gallic vanities, from Martinique.

It was shortly after this event, that the star of Audain began to wax dim. His zeal was equally great; for courage was natural to him. His manners were fine and gentle, and his appearance even venerable. He was hospitable to the rich, and gave alms to the poor. But his repeated losses were such as to bear a royal merchant down, and the Dominicans became more scrupulous, and a Governor came who knew not Audain. So Audain abdicated the pulpit of Roseau. Privateering and smuggling had failed; so now he commenced honest trader. He went to St. Domingo with a cargo of corn, sold it well, and lived on the island. But his star grew fainter and fainter. He quarrelled with two black general officers, challenged them, and shot them both severely. Christophe sent for him, and told him that, if for the future he did not behave himself, he would hang him on the tamarind tree before his own door. Audain thought the air of St. Domingo was not good for his health, and so he escaped from the tamarind tree by night, in an open boat.

He now settled in St. Eustatius, put on his black coat again, and re-commenced clergyman. St. Eustatius is a free port; yet the division of labor has made surprisingly slow advances in it. There were many religions, but no priest, in the island, when Audain made his appearance there. He was become liberally minded by misfortune, and he was always humane; so a kind of an immense catholicity, that it comprehended within its circle every radiation of opinion from the centre of Christianity, as the folly embraceth the spokes of a wheel. Audain offered to minister to all the sects respectively, which the free traders thankfully accepted. In the morning he celebrated mass in French, in the forenoon read the liturgy of the Church of England, in the afternoon spackened the Dutch service, and at nightfall chanted to the Methodists.

His star descended proner and proner, though he seemed to be gaining wealth and fame. Audain was a married man, but his wife resided, and still resides, at Bristol. A Dutch widow, rich, pious, and large, cast a widow's eye on Audain; the rigor of creole viduity softened under the afternoon spackening of Audain, as Dutch butter melts under the sun. It was said by Audain, that, if Heaven had made her such a man, she would have married twice. The hint was followed up herself, but Audain liked it the better for its dimensions, and married her on the spot, spackening the service himself.

Audain was deeply read, and was a good boxer. Once upon a time, he fired twice, without hitting; upon which he threw down the pistols, and proposed a few rounds of fisticuffs. "Take care that does not happen again!" supposing his pistol had not been charged with ball. A delay occurred in re-loading for the third time, upon which Audain went up to his antagonist, squared his body, saying, "Something between, something between, good sir!" and knocked him down with a flush hit on the nose.

Audain is now about sixty years of age, and has lately collected his scattered family. He loves his Dutch wife, and says his prayers so loud at night as to disturb his neighbors. His English wife sends him a Christmas box annually. He is a man of infinite talent, and has seen the world. I trust the report is true, that, like Lazarillo de Tormes and Gil Blas, he is writing a history of his life. It would be the most entertaining book of this age. If he does not, these few lines may happily serve to rescue him from an oblivion which he does not seem to deserve.